Those Who Need to Change the Most

In A River Runs Through It, Jesse, Norman’s soon-to-be fiancé, speaks of her brother when she says (paraphrased), “Why is it that people who need the most help…won’t take it?” Norman of course understands this because he thinks of his brother, Paul.

Over the years, I have experienced similar thoughts about people with whom I have worked…those who needed to change the most, would not or could not. Maybe my colleagues were thinking the same about me.

We have all worked with people like this, and the question is: should we spend time on those we know need the most help in improving performance even though we believe they will not change? Or do we concentrate on those who do not need to change, but who likely have the ability to change…those who have the means, willingness, and ability to improve for the future?

For that matter, rather than spending time trying to change those who need it most, but who will not, should we spend time on ourselves? Changing us to adapt to those who cannot or will not change? After all, if we are capable of changing, why not change?